After some angry outburst and beahvior issues with John I started asking around and reading this book "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen; And Listen So Kids Will Talk". While reading it and looking at our family and applying what worked for our family I quickly saw changes in John as well as myself. I feel like his confidence is much higher and I am much more patient becuase of some of the theories in this book.
I wanted to remember some of these confidence builders if I ever need them for Mattew or if anyone out there reading this sees anything that they empathize with. Note: some of these things are so small and some parents may have started well before 4, and I do think some of the issue was that I have not let John have the room to grow up as much as I could have. I rescue him in a lot of very simple ways that I have turned around and can see a big difference.
1) Completely picking out his clothes and getting dressed 100% by himself (no matter how long it takes)
2) Wiping his own bottom. (this one is hard for me to watch, but practice is the only way he will get better)
3) Eating off a glass plate and giving him a knife to cut his own sandwhiches.
4) Leaving cups at his level so he can get a drink when he wants one without asking.
5) Letting him struggle with something that he is clearly frustrated with (zipping his book bag, a game on the ipad, new toys, opening a lid, etc.)
6) I have stopped finishing his sentences. He takes SO LONG to tell a story and sometimes it is painful to listen to him struggle to remember or start over 3 times, especially when I know the ending. But I listen, patiently. He has actually become much more talkative and the end of the stories and sentences are sometimes unexpected and I learn something!
7) I put him in charge of things and let him make more decisions (holding the list at the grocery store, getting the mail, feeding the dog, deciding when he is done eating (which is hard on the rare occasion he only has a couple of bites, but until I feel like his health is in jepordy, I am going with this)), etc.
8) Stop reminding him to go to the bathroom.
Just these little things I have already seen improvements inlcuding:
- doing something when I ask him the first time (this is sort of a stretch, but still improvement)
- less thumb sucking
- no potty accidents at all
- talking more and telling me how he is feeling
- fits end as quickly as they start
- less whining (still whining, but less)
- wanting to do more things with no help
- better attitude overall
- more willing to do something new or a little uncomfortable.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Matthew: 15 months
Matthew's 15 month appointment went absolutely seamlessly. Only question I had for Dr. Bill was if I could possibly feed Matthew too many eggs. The boy LOVES eggs and I can slip anything in there and he will eat it...cheese, cabbage, spinach, meat, you name it, he will eat it in an egg. (Dr. Bill did say that he is not worried about cholestrol at this age, so feed away)
Matthews stats were (followed by Johns in comparison which I am shocked how close they are):
Weight: 25 lbs 4 oz (59%) (John: 25 lbs 14 oz (68%))
Length: 32 inches (75%) (John: 32 inches (75%))
Head: 19.25 (90%) (John: 19 inches (79%))
His favorite things are:
- Balls
- Balloons
- John
- FOOD (eggs, pancakes, muffins, fruit of any kind, cheese, deli meat, spagettios, peas, corn, oatmeal)
- Baths
- "swimming"
Developments:
- Running pretty well
- tries to jump already, but no air yet
- He is pretty steady on his feet. Especially in comparison to his Little Gym buddies, he can run circles and skills around those guys. But they are all 1st kids, so I think watching and chasing after John these past 15 months has given him a leg up.
- Words include: ball, dog, balloon, fish, shoe, mama, bubba, dada, tree, bye-bye, hi
- carries out instructions pretty well, even more complex ones as long as you use simple words.
- Wearing 12-18 month clothes, but I need to pull out the 18-24 months. That belly just keeps getting bigger.
- Only had 4 teeth up until last week, but 2 popped through at the same time. He was cranky, but overall, he is not a bad teether.
He is not cautious like I am used to, he wants to walk down stairs and dive head first into water and climb on anything he sees. Have to keep a careful eye on this guy. However, he does still look at me and will pause prior to doing most of those things. Not that it would stop him, but more of a warning for me and head start to catch him before he breaks a bone.
Matthews stats were (followed by Johns in comparison which I am shocked how close they are):
Weight: 25 lbs 4 oz (59%) (John: 25 lbs 14 oz (68%))
Length: 32 inches (75%) (John: 32 inches (75%))
Head: 19.25 (90%) (John: 19 inches (79%))
His favorite things are:
- Balls
- Balloons
- John
- FOOD (eggs, pancakes, muffins, fruit of any kind, cheese, deli meat, spagettios, peas, corn, oatmeal)
- Baths
- "swimming"
Developments:
- Running pretty well
- tries to jump already, but no air yet
- He is pretty steady on his feet. Especially in comparison to his Little Gym buddies, he can run circles and skills around those guys. But they are all 1st kids, so I think watching and chasing after John these past 15 months has given him a leg up.
- Words include: ball, dog, balloon, fish, shoe, mama, bubba, dada, tree, bye-bye, hi
- carries out instructions pretty well, even more complex ones as long as you use simple words.
- Wearing 12-18 month clothes, but I need to pull out the 18-24 months. That belly just keeps getting bigger.
- Only had 4 teeth up until last week, but 2 popped through at the same time. He was cranky, but overall, he is not a bad teether.
He is not cautious like I am used to, he wants to walk down stairs and dive head first into water and climb on anything he sees. Have to keep a careful eye on this guy. However, he does still look at me and will pause prior to doing most of those things. Not that it would stop him, but more of a warning for me and head start to catch him before he breaks a bone.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
The Top Ten
I am not going to say that I will start the "Ten on Tuesday" again. But I sure did love it when I was doing it, so I am going to start my own version.... The Top Ten list and hope to post weekly at some point. :)
1) My 2nd nephew Everrett Ambrose Richards was born on June 12th. I can not wait to snuggle that little nugget next weekend!
2) John loves animals like no other kid I have seen and he has been this way since infancy. I think we have discovered that Matthew's passion is for balls and balloons. The boy can not get enough!
3) The book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" is my newest attempt at understanding and coping with parenting.... LOVING IT! Not to say that it is for every situation, but it does have a very wide range of real life examples for ages from 3 and above. I know that overall my boys are happy and healthy, but some of the theories and language in this book has really helped me to feel like I have more control of my own impatience and I can see a lot of positive changes in John. Well.... this book and a lot of prayer!
4) OKC Thunder is down 3 games to 1 against the Miami Heat right now for the Championship. This is totally bazaar for me. This basketball team did not exist (nor did its stadium or half of the things that OKC downtown has these days) when I lived there. I keep calling them "us", but it seems so foreign. Good Luck either way! "Thunder UP" I think is the saying, although I like "Roll Thunder" better. (They forgot to ask for my opinion).
5) Matthew is working on more words these days... a lot of babble...but I am starting to make a little more sense of it. The pointing and staring give it away. So far we can understand...ball, balloon, fish, shoe, mama, dada, dog, book, tree. Looking back, I feel like John was saying much more than this, but I feel like Matthew understands a lot more of what we are saying. He follows simple commands, but can also understand a few more in depth sentences. He also can pick up sign language after the first couple of times you show him. Just this week he is doing the sign for "help" (his version) and he uses it correctly. He still uses eat, more, and brother on a regular basis, but has dropped the others for the most part.
6) John's latest habit is to come into bed every morning with us when he wakes up. Luckily it has been later and later, but it was starting at like 5:30. And although I tried to sleep with him in bed, I was basically up at 5:30. Awesome. I am loving this little cuddle time!
7) Matthew must be going through a growth spurt. He is sleeping SO LONG at night and at nap. 7:30pm to like 8:00am (or longer) and then still a 2-3 hour nap! Woohoo!
8) The summer already feels like it is flying by. John has been out of school almost a month already. I know I am going to look up and Pre-K is going to start. We are staying extremely busy, but we have a lot of down time too, I think that is important for the boys to build their relationship now that they are starting to play together a little more.
9) I am in love with Pinterest. What an amazing concept. There are so many things that I now have at my fingertips. It is such a wonderful resource that saves so much time!
10) Outside of Nick Jr. and PBS are there any other channels that are generally safe for a small child? I feel like most other channels have some programming that I am okay with, but either the commercials or certain times of the day are turned more towards older kids.
1) My 2nd nephew Everrett Ambrose Richards was born on June 12th. I can not wait to snuggle that little nugget next weekend!
2) John loves animals like no other kid I have seen and he has been this way since infancy. I think we have discovered that Matthew's passion is for balls and balloons. The boy can not get enough!
3) The book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" is my newest attempt at understanding and coping with parenting.... LOVING IT! Not to say that it is for every situation, but it does have a very wide range of real life examples for ages from 3 and above. I know that overall my boys are happy and healthy, but some of the theories and language in this book has really helped me to feel like I have more control of my own impatience and I can see a lot of positive changes in John. Well.... this book and a lot of prayer!
4) OKC Thunder is down 3 games to 1 against the Miami Heat right now for the Championship. This is totally bazaar for me. This basketball team did not exist (nor did its stadium or half of the things that OKC downtown has these days) when I lived there. I keep calling them "us", but it seems so foreign. Good Luck either way! "Thunder UP" I think is the saying, although I like "Roll Thunder" better. (They forgot to ask for my opinion).
5) Matthew is working on more words these days... a lot of babble...but I am starting to make a little more sense of it. The pointing and staring give it away. So far we can understand...ball, balloon, fish, shoe, mama, dada, dog, book, tree. Looking back, I feel like John was saying much more than this, but I feel like Matthew understands a lot more of what we are saying. He follows simple commands, but can also understand a few more in depth sentences. He also can pick up sign language after the first couple of times you show him. Just this week he is doing the sign for "help" (his version) and he uses it correctly. He still uses eat, more, and brother on a regular basis, but has dropped the others for the most part.
6) John's latest habit is to come into bed every morning with us when he wakes up. Luckily it has been later and later, but it was starting at like 5:30. And although I tried to sleep with him in bed, I was basically up at 5:30. Awesome. I am loving this little cuddle time!
7) Matthew must be going through a growth spurt. He is sleeping SO LONG at night and at nap. 7:30pm to like 8:00am (or longer) and then still a 2-3 hour nap! Woohoo!
8) The summer already feels like it is flying by. John has been out of school almost a month already. I know I am going to look up and Pre-K is going to start. We are staying extremely busy, but we have a lot of down time too, I think that is important for the boys to build their relationship now that they are starting to play together a little more.
9) I am in love with Pinterest. What an amazing concept. There are so many things that I now have at my fingertips. It is such a wonderful resource that saves so much time!
10) Outside of Nick Jr. and PBS are there any other channels that are generally safe for a small child? I feel like most other channels have some programming that I am okay with, but either the commercials or certain times of the day are turned more towards older kids.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Evenings
Evenings have become my favorite part of the day. This is vastly different than some past times. Of course, the main reason being that Carl comes home and hangs with us, but even on days he is out of town, I enjoy the evenings the best.
I am not sure if it is because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, or maybe the boys are finally tired of me (what? never!), or everyone finally has a full stomach, or the stars are all aligned, I don't need to know, I just want to enjoy it.
Both boys are calm (or at least calmer) and more content to just sit in the floor with me or without me or with each other or whatever. All of us seem to be much more relaxed and able to just be in the moment and do whatever tickles our fancy.
Love my life!
I am not sure if it is because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, or maybe the boys are finally tired of me (what? never!), or everyone finally has a full stomach, or the stars are all aligned, I don't need to know, I just want to enjoy it.
Both boys are calm (or at least calmer) and more content to just sit in the floor with me or without me or with each other or whatever. All of us seem to be much more relaxed and able to just be in the moment and do whatever tickles our fancy.
Love my life!
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