Matthew Allen Jones 3.9.2011

5:00am - My alarm goes off so that I can get up and eat the last thing before the surgery. Not like I was going to be able to sleep much past that anyway. So, I eat, shower and get ready for the day.

6:00am - Carl is up and working out

7:30 - John, Grammie and Granddaddy are all up and eating breakfast and getting ready for school.

9:00 - drop John off to school - lots of tears on the way for me.

9:15 - 12:30 - Agony! Time could not have crawled any slower! I should have left something for myself to do that day. I tried to watch day time TV (blah!) but it could not keep my attention. I was doing all that I could to keep from crying. I was trying to keep my mind off of it the best I could because I was getting so emotional. I did not really like that either though, because I felt sort of numb. But I did not want to be a ball baby.

12:30 - leave for hospital. They were so full, that they had no rooms for me, so I had to start out in recovery. Which means my parents could not go back there with us. It felt rushed and we had ALL of our bags and stuff crammed with us, but we did not have time to separate.

1:30 - Start prepping me. Then Dr. Robert came in and asked if we were ready and to start the surgery process about 2:30. Luckily Nana and Da had picked up John from school and had a successful transition to Kara and they were already on their way. So off we went.

2:45 ish - get back into the surgery room. I remember all of this this time which was SO NICE! I LOVED the anesthesiologist, she was so nice and helpful, she walked me through everything. I was numb and ready to go.

The pressure this time was so much less intense than I remembered. There was one point that a girl was sitting on my chest and pulling back the top flap of my belly and Dr. Robert pushed Matthew out, and I had no idea. I only got nausea one time for about 2 minutes when the medicine first went in.

3:23: I hear Matthew for the first time and his scream sounded like someone was gurgling mouth wash. They swept him away to do the measurements and clean up and what not. However, he could not get control of his oxygen levels due to the fluid in his lungs and he was breathing too fast. After several attempts at putting him on oxygen and then him not being able to hold the levels, the NICU nurse came in, showed him to me, let me kiss him and then rushed him away. I had NO idea all of this was happening and it hurts to know that Carl had to watch that all by himself. I seemed like a long time of him crying and I did not understand why they had not let Carl hold him, but everyone was very calm and successfully diverting my attention.

This is where the time line and details become a little fuzzy, as they started to dope me up on some heavy meds.

I remember being in recovery and my Mom coming in. I think Carl was with Matthew or out in the waiting room with my parents. I remember them giving me an anti nausea shot in my leg that ended up hurting for over a week. I think she must have hit a muscle.

I do not remember going back to the room at all. But we got lucky and they had not regular rooms left so we got one of the rooms that the pregnant bed-rest patients use. I think it was bigger.

6:00ish - the next thing I remember is Carl bringing John up the hospital. He was SO EXCITED! However, when he walked in and saw me in my gown with all the tubes hooked up to me, he wanted NOTHING to do with me. Come to find out, Carl may have built up "we need to be careful with Mama" a little too much. He told John that the Dr. cut a whole in my belly to get Matthew out. I think he was a little freaked out. It took almost 3 days before he would let me hug him. He brought Matthew a teddy bear and a toy frog thing, and he brought me two beads for my pandora bracelet.

7:00ish through morning - My parents took John back home for bedtime routine. Nana and Da left, and it was just Carl and I. It did not seem right to not have Matthew with us. The time line is really fuzzy here, but I know I was pumping and trying to time it to get Matthew some of the good stuff for each of his feeding times. I did this through the night and we went to see him every 3 hours and tried to nurse. It did not go so well with all the tubes hooked up to him and I both. The funniest story of the hospital trip was probably the time that my nurse said I needed to skip going to see him and get some rest...so, while on some heavy drugs I called down to the NICU and told them that my husband was coming, but he could not breastfeed! WHAT? She did not say anything, but I am sure she laughed about it after we got off the phone.

8:00am ish on the 10th - we go down to the NICU and Matthew has ripped out his feeding tube! What a little rascal! But it was probably a good thing, because it was one less thing they had to do before they gave him to us. We were there when the head NICU lady to check him out and then she released him to us. It was awesome!

The next two days - We stayed in the hospital and enjoyed pretty darn good food in a nice big room... I highly recommend Baylor of Frisco to have your baby!

John came on Thursday in the morning and met Matthew, he was so excited and cute about it. He loves his little brother. He was smiling and was not scared, but a little timid in touching him; probably because we had drilled it in his head to be easy with the baby. He held him for the first time in Daddy's lap at the hospital and it was a precious site! He would not get near me or in my bed though. :( I am pretty sure he came back that night too, but for some reason I can not remember.

I started asking to be released on Friday on Wednesday BEFORE the surgery. I knew I would be ready to be home. Sure enough, we were on our way out Friday morning! YEAH!

Friday evening we had both grandparents over for dinner and celebration. It was a perfect time for Carl and I. I had happy hormones this time (at least until this point) and was only crying because I was happy.

You hear it, but you don't believe until you have one of your own, but my heart grew at 3:23pm on March 9, 2011. I have fallen in love all over again with all three of my boys!