Grayson

I want to remember: 

- The way you wrap your arm tightly around my neck when I hold you. you are 10.5 months old and you have done it since you were tiny and show no signs of stopping. 

- Your heavy body. You are so heavy and somehow my body has adapted and it no longer hurts. It is easier to carry you around and do things one handed. 

- The ease and joy of nursing you so long…. in the same breath it is a burden and headache. It is adding to your separation anxiety! You will not stop and I have a hard time pushing you, although I am ready. I. AM. READY. 

- You have 6 teeth at 10.5 months. 

- You had a horribly clogged tear duct and had to have surgery on your tiny little eye at way too young of an age. It was so quick and horrible and easy all at the same time. 

- When you were born, you looked like John with you saggy skin and broad shoulders and hairline. As you grew you looked like Matthew with your brown eyes and your dimples and your ever increasing chubby rolls. I would catch glimpses of both of them in you until lately…. you are growing into your own look and will clearly be your own little person. Having 3 boys that look nothing alike is interesting. 

- Your laugh, especially when I tickle you. 

- Your lack of interest in crawling or walking. You rolled over at 3 months! WHAT? But then did not crawl until around 9.5 months. You are 10.5 months now, and will pull up to your knees, but show no interest in progressing really. 

- You HATE to lay down (in the mornings especially) and get your diaper changed. Right now a musical toy works the best for distraction. 

- The way you need me. Although right now I feel locked down, I know one day I will miss it. I only take a shower with you locked in the bathroom with me; I put you in the dry tub next to me to potty so you won't crawl up on a dirty potty floor; I eat when you eat; you cry when anyone takes you from my arms; you snuggle up t.i.g.h.t. when a stranger talks to you; I stay with in sight distance if you are on the floor. I also encourage your independence whenever I can, and purposefully build in challenges during our days, but things are hard right now. They are really hard. I thought it was a passing phase….

- Your love of baths. Thank God. 

- You make it easy to not set an alarm. Once you started sleeping through the night, 5:00am was my new wake up call. You will go back down after I feed you though, so I can choose to wake up or not. Literally it is between 4:50 and 5:10, EVERY. DAY. UGH! 

- You fuss at every single night and nap time. Every. Single. One. I let you. I have told myself you just have to talk yourself to sleep. It is what it is….

- Your pure love and joy for both your brothers. They hung the moon. Period. 

- You are a pretty 

This is a season

I keep telling myself that this is just a season of life and I will get back to blogging the lives of my little boys. I hope this is true. I see other bloggers and I am so proud of them and hope to one day find it in me to write more so that I forget less.

I apologize now to each one of my sons for leaving out the small details of this particular part of your lives. I am going to start with Grayson in the next post as he has gotten the real short end of the stick.

Just know I love you more than you will ever understand. Period.

Happy 7th birthday John: When I picture you

When I picture you:

- I picture you "dancing" in the living room. You do this little move where you pop your butt out over and over that you learned from Elyse that is pretty funny. The other dance moves consist of random, crazy jarring movements that typically involve you pulling your pants down at some point.

- I picture you sticking your thumb in your mouth when you are really sad about something or really tired.

- I picture you sitting at the bar doing your homework still in your jacket from school because you can't waste that time. :)

- I picture you running up to me after school with you back pack on, shoes laces untied and grabbing your scooter.

- I picture you with food all over your face, you are a messy eater

- I picture you rolling on my bedroom floor playing with Grayson while Matthew showers. He cackles and cackles at you.

- I picture you outside with one of the many riding aparatus including a bike, an electric rip rider, a rip rider, a trick scooter, etc. riding up and down the street with your brother and friends. Come rain or shine.

- I picture you running from house to house and between the orange cones and all of the parents' lawn chairs enjoying a full day of beautiful weather with all of our neighbors that we do life with these days.

- I picture you rolling your eyes. Not sure if you are trying to be subtle or not, but you don't have it down just yet. Your whole head moves with it. It is pretty funny.

- I picture you turning your volume up, way up! When you are happy, excited, sad, hurt, etc… you are LOUD about it.

- I see you cuddled up with Matthew on one barstool playing or helping him play mine craft, dragon city, or some other game of the week.

- I picture your beautiful face asking me a question about the world. You are so curious and have great questions.

Happy 7th Birthday John: A Year in pictures

March 2014

April 2014

May 2014

June 2014

July 2014

August 2014

September 2014

October 2014

November 2014

December 2014

January 2015

February 2015

Happy 7th birthday John: Party Time

This year we had a super fun rock climbing birthday party for John. I really think it was a blast and I want to do it again for a party or just a family evening. I highly recommend it!

We were blessed with Uncle Brent, Aunt Abbey, Brendan, Maggie and Everrett ("The cousins", as the boys like to say) AND Grammie and Granddaddy making the trip, AND Nana and Da! I mean WHAT ELSE COULD A KID WANT?!?!? We were also overwhelmed with the love that over 15 other friends were able to make it and celebrate with us!

The kids literally climbed the rock walls for 2.5 hours (less pizza and cake time of course!). I thought they would get bored or it would go slow… but no… it was awesome.

I am going to put some pics in a slideshow here, but I also think it is fun to list some of the gifts he got to look back and remember what was popular at the time. My favorite reaction was when he opened his Wii U infinity from Matthew and gave him a hug and was so excited about it, it was so cute. He got books, iTunes gift card, several legos, a 3D puzzle, two bow and arrows (really excited to have 2, they will get a lot of use, seriously), mine craft paper craft things, wooden robot pieces, a remote control car that also flies?, a mine craft sword/pickaxe, a zombie sword, a drawing tool, paper airplane kit, a bike from his Daddy, and a couple of things he does not know about yet (will open on his birthday) is a voice password safe and a movie from me and an electric scooter from Nana.

John update

John is almost 7 and sometimes it seems he is going on 13, sometimes it seems he is reverting back to 3 years old. He keeps us guessing! 

He generally loves school, but this year we have had a few hiccups. He loves math and science, but not so much reading. He still loves art and music. He was having a problem with a "friend" in class being a bit too rough physically, and it seems that he does not love his teacher. However, I think she might just be a little more firm than his kindergarten teacher and I think 1st grade is generally just a bit more structured and preparatory for 2nd grade (where the actual grades and testing start). I think it is just an adjustment year for us all. 

He has been playing baseball the last couple of seasons, this past one was machine pitch. He did really well at it and he really enjoyed it. I can see that being the sport of choice for a while. However, this winter he is trying basketball. We have had 2 practices and he has loved both. Although he has said he does not want to play in games because that is when people steal the ball. A few weeks ago he told me that he does not like competitions. And, he is right, he doesn't. I think it really wears on him when he is not as good at something as he wants to be. Instead of that being motivation to practice and get better, he gets frustrated and shuts down. Something we need to work on, because he is not going to be good at everything in life. It is a tough lesson to learn for all of us. 

He is a great big brother, he really is awesome with Grayson all the time. When he wants to be awesome with Matthew he is. Matthew looks up to him so much. John can be so patient and helpful with both of them. My heart smiles when they share sweet moments. 

John completely lashes out when something is going on with him. We try our hardest to remember that and give him the attention that he needs when he starts acting up, but sometimes it is hard to take that breathe when he is in the middle of it. It takes a few days sometimes to get to the root of the problem, but I think we have become pretty good investigators and can pretty much guess what it is. Helping him to learn to cope with those issues and emotions is hard, but we keep trying. 

This is too much information, but it is a major part of what we are dealing with right now. He  has a hard time going to the bathroom when he needs to. As such, we had an x-ray done of his abdomen. He is literally full of poop. The only thing containing it is his bones. So we have been on miralax once a day for awhile and it helps him to go everyday, but it is not cleaning him out completely. Over Christmas break we are going to take a few days and do a major dosage and clean him out. In theory it should give him enough room for his bladder and his stomach. Then after a month of staying clean his little muscles in that area should be stronger and be able to help him stop having accidents. We shall see….

He lost his first tooth over Thanksgiving break! He thinks he is working on a 2nd one now. He still likes some cartoons, but he is growing out of the 'jr." channels. He won't hold my hand unless I beg. He still gives me kisses at drop off. Cuddling is almost a thing of the past unless he is upset or extremely tired. Still have trouble finding clothes that fit him just right with his long skinny body. He will eat pretty much anything we ask him too. He talks about God and asks questions about God, but we have gotten out of the habit of praying every day and night. He loves to be outside. He is growing up way too fast! 

Matthew update

Oh Matthew! He is a hoot and a half. I love this age. Almost 4, but acts like he is 7 like John. Some of the things that come out of his mouth are hysterical.

He is a pretty picky eater and will firmly explain before any meal that he will NOT eat chicken. As you can imagine, this is beyond frustrating. I vaguely remember John being this way too and now he will eat pretty much anything, even if he does not like it. So I am holding out hope that chicken will enter his system once again. He will however NEVER turn down a snack. The boy might turn into an applesauce squeeze pouch. He and John have two very different bodies, Matthew is larger than John, but not in a fat way or anything, just a thicker build.

He has two wondering eyes :(. The left eye is much worse than the right. After being diagnosed with it, we are too watch it and if it starts to happen once or twice a day, we should consider surgery. I think we are too that point, so we want to get a 2nd opinion and get all of the facts. We will probably discuss for over the summer.

He enjoys school much more so than John did at this age. I hardly ever hear the words "I don't want to go to school". He can write a few letters of his name, and recognize a few letters in the alphabet. I am not sure if he is behind for his age or if John was ahead, but I feel like John had a better grasp on writing/drawing by now. No big deal though, I think it must be the 2nd kid syndrome, but I know he will get it one day and I am not concerned about it.

On the other hand, he can probably dribble a basketball and kick a soccer ball at the same level that John is now at 6.5. However, we have not really gotten him in any sports yet. The selfish part of me is keeping him out as long as possible because I can only imagine the scheduling and the full calendar. With Carl out of town as much as he is and the new baby, I am not sure I can pull it off before next Fall. But Matthew has not asked to play anything at all, he is happy going to John's stuff and playing with the other siblings.

He does NOT like getting in trouble. He truly is sad when he is called out on doing something wrong. I think a lot of his good behavior is internal motivation because we have not really had to invoke any real consequences. Although I think that is possibly also a reflection of our parenting experience.

The vast majority of his friends are John's friends or older siblings. Which is why he knows all the words to songs by Taylor Swift and Maroon Five. He loves music and loves to dance, it will no doubt bring a smile to anyones face to see that boy when he is in serious dance mode.

He gives THE BEST hugs and begs to cuddle with you. He still announces when he needs to poop, to anyone in ear shot, no filter there. He does not really like to sit down and listen to a book, but can sit forever on the iPad or watching a TV show (probably need to work on that). He loves on Grayson all the time. He adores John and looks up to him in a lot of ways, but points out when he is making bad choices too. He goes to John for answers as much as he comes to me. His favorite things to do are playing outside, watching John play wii, make forts on the couch with pillows and blankets, play lasers with flashlights, eat snacks, bake with me (to lick the spoon), paint and wrestle with Daddy.

Grayson update

In the mix of life and three kids, time seems to fly and free time is few and far between. In an effort to catch up a bit so that I can reminisce years from now, I am going to do an "update" on each kid this week and HOPE to do a "week in the life" series next week.

Grayson is almost 4 months old and it is flying by even faster than the other two. I love our family of five and I think everyone should do it! :) He adds a whole new level of fun and light to our lives.

He is a chunky monkey! I think he is quite a bit bigger than his brothers at this age, but I will confirm that at next weeks appointment. He has rolls and crevices everywhere!

He is not the best sleeper, but not the worse either. Matthew apparently was sleeping a full 10 or so hours at night by 3 months ( I did not have this written down for John). Grayson still gets up once or twice a night. I am going to work on making it only once a night this week while Carl is out of town.

We have had a successful nursing career so far. He has a bit of an attached tongue, so it hurt longer (probably a month) than the other two because his latch pops off several times during each feeding. I would love to make it to May with him, but there is a part of me that is ready to be done. I know I will be super sad the day it happens though, so I am holding out.

He rolled over to his tummy for the first time over Thanksgiving, which seems really early to me. He can not make it back over so he gets pretty frustrated after a few minutes. It has caused more fussing at night too, but when he does sleep on his belly, he sleeps good.

He laughs pretty easily; he likes to be alone and kick around on the floor a lot; he loves to hear and see his brother play; he likes to face outward; he has a clogged tear duct that is pretty goopy right now; he seems to have one dimple; he typically is fine with the car seat; he enjoys our walks to and from school; he seems to really like things that light up and/or have music; he wears 6 month clothes right now, but really is busting at those seams; I think he had a slight allergy to cows milk (when I drank it), but has pretty much grown out of it; he does not like to really sit and be held, he would much rather you walk; he is a great little errand runner.

Oh, and he laughs when he is naked. :)

Here is a picture of all three boys at 4 months (John, Matthew, Grayson).

Welcome To The World Baby Grayson Daniel

After what seemed to be a VERY long pregnancy, Grayson Daniel joined this world Sunday afternoon 8.17.14.

We had a scheduled C-section appointment on Wednesday August 20th, but the good Lord had a different plan for us. It was early afternoon on Sunday, we had just finished lunch and I was feeling pretty lousy. So I laid down on the couch and cuddled with both boys. Carl just happened to snap this picture that I will treasure forever, it literally is the last minutes of us ad a family of 4.

I heard a "pop" and felt a sharp pain, I knew exactly what it was a jumped off the couch as fast as I could (totally saved the couch!), my water had broken! I told John to get Daddy as I was making my way to the bathroom. I started crying and panicking a bit (not sure why), so I freaked the boys out a bit. John found Carl in the garage trying to knock out some last minute to-do list items on this house. He told John to tell me to hold on and John said "no she really needs you now. Carl knew by his tone what had happened. He came inside and told the boys it was okay that it just meant that we would meet Grayson today. :) 

As I waited in the bathroom for a bit, Carl jumped into action. He called my parents, his parents and our neighbors. Tim came and got the boys and all Johns baseball stuff to take them to practice with them. Carl started packing his suitcase and I finished packing my hospital bag (one of those to-do items that never got done). Bob and Carolyn headed the hospital to meet us there. My Dad was with my brother's family and my mom started to get ready and get a hold of him so that they could head down. 

Carl and I headed to the hospital and within a couple hours or so of being there, we were suited up and ready for operation. He was born at 4:35 with no complications. It was the easiest c-section ever. I never even felt the pressure that I remembered with Matthew. Dr. Robert did say that my uterus was incredibly thin and would not hold up to another pregnancy (good thing we had that fixed up while she was doing the surgery anyway) I did throw up afterwards, but that is just me. He started nursing on the operating table, what?!? 

The boys were still with the Waters eating dinner and playing, perfectly peaceful and happy. Carl left and went to pick them up after they ate dinner and my parents got there. I actually do not remember them getting there all the way. I just remember that John was completely comfortable with me being in that hospital bed and with the baby, he was all smiles. Matthew on the hand, acted like John did when he met Matthew. He was scared to come to me and covered his ears when Grayson cried. I think that hospital room and bed is just intimidating for that young age. 

This hospital had an "in-room bonding"policy, Grayson only left the room one time to get his circumcision. Carl stayed with us the entire time with the exception of John's baseball games. Grayson was awesome, he slept well and ate well. Whew! 

We checked in on a Sunday and came home on Tuesday. Only to go back on Thursday…. After extreme swelling, high blood pressure, vomiting and excessive bleeding, I called the doctor and they sent us to the ER on Thursday night. After an extremely uncomfortable and long stay in the rigid ER room waiting to see a cardiologist and then finally being shuffled around on the maternity floor, they diagnosed me with post partum preeclampsia and kidney failure. It was just a perfect storm of medicines and the stress pregnancy and the c-section put on my body… it was NO FUN! Grayson was with us the whole time and was awesome, thank the good Lord. The boys were at Nana's and Da's and they just thought we were resting at home for a bit and that they were getting special sleepovers at their house. 

It took a couple of weeks to bring the swelling and BP back down to normal. Then after seeing the kidney doctor one last time a couple weeks after discharge we found out the my kidney's regenerated themselves, and I am back to normal and enjoying my baby. I should always stay away from advil, aleve and other similar OTC drugs as they are hard on kidneys and once you have kidney failure, you are more susceptible to future damage. Boo. 

A Week in the Life: Friday

This morning was pretty normal, we had some window cleaners over and Matthew and I just played around the house unit they were gone.

These two pictures are exactly the range of emotion that Matthew can go through in a millisecond. We were playing a matching game. Loving it one minute, but as soon as I got a match, he was sad and did not want to play anymore. This one may be a bit more competitive than John. Different child, different issues. :) Wouldn't change it.

Then we had a "ball party" and Matthew insisted that I take a picture of it. The other picture is once again evidence of the naked/body part phase we are going through. He will just strip naked at any point. Today he claimed that his clothes were dirty and needed to change (he had them on all of 1 hour and no food was eaten in them, I assure you they were not dirty). 

Then we headed over to Nana and Da's to hang out and eat lunch. About 12:30, I got a text that Carl had landed! YAHOO! We rushed home and quickly went to nap. Carl and I had some quiet time before it was time to pick up John. 

I needed to talk with Ms. Corrigan for a bit, so Matthew and I stayed after school and John went to the park with the Waters. I spoke with her about the shocking language that John is using when he is upset about something. She gave me some verbiage to use with him to dig a little deeper. I just love her. 

We all just hung out and played for a bit and Carl had to take some calls. Then I ordered sushi for us and made the kids dinner. Just in time as the food arrived, we had to pack it up and take it to the park because we had another showing (this time resulting in a lease application). We played at the park, came home, showered, watched "Diggers" with the boys (a treasure hunting show using metal detectors), and then off to bed.

Oh, I did chat with John at bedtime about what he means when he says he is going to kill himself or that he doesn't like himself. He said that the world is too dangerous. I asked what he thought was dangerous, he said storms, bad guys, monsters, then he started being silly and saying silly things. I told him it sounds like he is scared of some things and we talked about how that was okay. And I think we concluded that he did not really mean what he was saying but did not know how to say what he was feeling. After 10 minutes or so, I could tell he was tuning me out, so I causally shut it down and will address it again when appropriate.