Welcome To The World Baby Grayson Daniel

After what seemed to be a VERY long pregnancy, Grayson Daniel joined this world Sunday afternoon 8.17.14.

We had a scheduled C-section appointment on Wednesday August 20th, but the good Lord had a different plan for us. It was early afternoon on Sunday, we had just finished lunch and I was feeling pretty lousy. So I laid down on the couch and cuddled with both boys. Carl just happened to snap this picture that I will treasure forever, it literally is the last minutes of us ad a family of 4.

I heard a "pop" and felt a sharp pain, I knew exactly what it was a jumped off the couch as fast as I could (totally saved the couch!), my water had broken! I told John to get Daddy as I was making my way to the bathroom. I started crying and panicking a bit (not sure why), so I freaked the boys out a bit. John found Carl in the garage trying to knock out some last minute to-do list items on this house. He told John to tell me to hold on and John said "no she really needs you now. Carl knew by his tone what had happened. He came inside and told the boys it was okay that it just meant that we would meet Grayson today. :) 

As I waited in the bathroom for a bit, Carl jumped into action. He called my parents, his parents and our neighbors. Tim came and got the boys and all Johns baseball stuff to take them to practice with them. Carl started packing his suitcase and I finished packing my hospital bag (one of those to-do items that never got done). Bob and Carolyn headed the hospital to meet us there. My Dad was with my brother's family and my mom started to get ready and get a hold of him so that they could head down. 

Carl and I headed to the hospital and within a couple hours or so of being there, we were suited up and ready for operation. He was born at 4:35 with no complications. It was the easiest c-section ever. I never even felt the pressure that I remembered with Matthew. Dr. Robert did say that my uterus was incredibly thin and would not hold up to another pregnancy (good thing we had that fixed up while she was doing the surgery anyway) I did throw up afterwards, but that is just me. He started nursing on the operating table, what?!? 

The boys were still with the Waters eating dinner and playing, perfectly peaceful and happy. Carl left and went to pick them up after they ate dinner and my parents got there. I actually do not remember them getting there all the way. I just remember that John was completely comfortable with me being in that hospital bed and with the baby, he was all smiles. Matthew on the hand, acted like John did when he met Matthew. He was scared to come to me and covered his ears when Grayson cried. I think that hospital room and bed is just intimidating for that young age. 

This hospital had an "in-room bonding"policy, Grayson only left the room one time to get his circumcision. Carl stayed with us the entire time with the exception of John's baseball games. Grayson was awesome, he slept well and ate well. Whew! 

We checked in on a Sunday and came home on Tuesday. Only to go back on Thursday…. After extreme swelling, high blood pressure, vomiting and excessive bleeding, I called the doctor and they sent us to the ER on Thursday night. After an extremely uncomfortable and long stay in the rigid ER room waiting to see a cardiologist and then finally being shuffled around on the maternity floor, they diagnosed me with post partum preeclampsia and kidney failure. It was just a perfect storm of medicines and the stress pregnancy and the c-section put on my body… it was NO FUN! Grayson was with us the whole time and was awesome, thank the good Lord. The boys were at Nana's and Da's and they just thought we were resting at home for a bit and that they were getting special sleepovers at their house. 

It took a couple of weeks to bring the swelling and BP back down to normal. Then after seeing the kidney doctor one last time a couple weeks after discharge we found out the my kidney's regenerated themselves, and I am back to normal and enjoying my baby. I should always stay away from advil, aleve and other similar OTC drugs as they are hard on kidneys and once you have kidney failure, you are more susceptible to future damage. Boo. 

A Week in the Life: Friday

This morning was pretty normal, we had some window cleaners over and Matthew and I just played around the house unit they were gone.

These two pictures are exactly the range of emotion that Matthew can go through in a millisecond. We were playing a matching game. Loving it one minute, but as soon as I got a match, he was sad and did not want to play anymore. This one may be a bit more competitive than John. Different child, different issues. :) Wouldn't change it.

Then we had a "ball party" and Matthew insisted that I take a picture of it. The other picture is once again evidence of the naked/body part phase we are going through. He will just strip naked at any point. Today he claimed that his clothes were dirty and needed to change (he had them on all of 1 hour and no food was eaten in them, I assure you they were not dirty). 

Then we headed over to Nana and Da's to hang out and eat lunch. About 12:30, I got a text that Carl had landed! YAHOO! We rushed home and quickly went to nap. Carl and I had some quiet time before it was time to pick up John. 

I needed to talk with Ms. Corrigan for a bit, so Matthew and I stayed after school and John went to the park with the Waters. I spoke with her about the shocking language that John is using when he is upset about something. She gave me some verbiage to use with him to dig a little deeper. I just love her. 

We all just hung out and played for a bit and Carl had to take some calls. Then I ordered sushi for us and made the kids dinner. Just in time as the food arrived, we had to pack it up and take it to the park because we had another showing (this time resulting in a lease application). We played at the park, came home, showered, watched "Diggers" with the boys (a treasure hunting show using metal detectors), and then off to bed.

Oh, I did chat with John at bedtime about what he means when he says he is going to kill himself or that he doesn't like himself. He said that the world is too dangerous. I asked what he thought was dangerous, he said storms, bad guys, monsters, then he started being silly and saying silly things. I told him it sounds like he is scared of some things and we talked about how that was okay. And I think we concluded that he did not really mean what he was saying but did not know how to say what he was feeling. After 10 minutes or so, I could tell he was tuning me out, so I causally shut it down and will address it again when appropriate.

A Week In The Life: Thursday

Seeing as it is Saturday morning at 5:44, I am going to try and catch up via picture captions on Thursday and Friday. Had I known I was going to do this, I would have taken more pictures. I may try a picture version of this series today and see how I like it though. I think I might.

So, Thursday was pretty crazy too. Dropped the boys at school, came home and worked on the house, April came over to discuss a few things on the house and for her to take some pictures for MLS. After she left I had to gut that bottom bedroom (until now it has been my "excuse" room and all of the random things got piled in there) because we had a showing at 4:30 that day and the MIL was going to live with them in that room.

Here is where I started taking pictures:

 It was Matthew's a last day as a Dolphin. The first picture of him by himself is when I first got there. He was SO TIRED. They must have had a busy day. This tiredness only bled into the evening and he was in RARE form.

These are just cute. He loves to ride his scooter or the stroller up to get John after school. He has started calling John "bub" I love it. Thinking about getting him a summer haircut. Although this length looks cute, its hot and he gets super sweaty and then it is just crazy wet hair.

 We took the Waters kiddos home with us today for a playdate. Normally when we have both of them, this is exactly what happens. The boys play Wii for a bit and Elyse and Matthew play something. Then they all do something together. When they are all together, it normally is a really loud pretend game that involves some intense imagination and a lot of noise and running. Which also normally results in Matthew getting his feelings hurt or physically hurt and tears. Today was particularly bad; there were full body convulsions and screaming at a volume I had not heard from his little lungs before. EEK.

Then we had to go to the creek because we had that showing. Note that they are in a dry creek bed. This was the best of the options I was presented with. They wanted to go down into this secret path where there is apparently a rock area to sit and play in. I used Matthew as an excuse. :) All four of these kids love to be outside.

 One more baseball game this week, forgot my camera again! These were a bunch of make up games from rain outs that they were trying to fit in. John had a hit every time at bat and enjoyed himself once again. We got home about 8:30, showered and in bed by 9:00. Tired boys.

Week in the Life: Wednesday

3:50am - John comes down with a nightmare. Since Carl is gone and he can spread out, I let him crawl in bed with me… somehow, he STILL ends up sharing my pillow.

5:15 - Internal clock: Ignore.

6:35 - John wakes up, we get up and he does this Kindergarten workbook thing while I make his lunch.  I hear Matthew around 7:00, so I decide to feed them breakfast at the same time (he is still in his crib, so he can't come down on his own just yet). Pancakes for John and cereal for Matthew. Get dressed and then play with brain ooze. John got 10 beads at school and he choose to "bring an animal to school" as a reward. So we go on a several minute search for which animal it will be… Mahi Mahi won.

7:50 - Back from school drop off. Made some coffee and watching the news while Matthew plays with brain ooze… then I run a paper lunch bag down to Emily and we take Corbin back home with us for a playdate. The boys play with play dough and balloons and then they disappear in Johns closet for a long time, only to be interrupted with Corbin coming down tell me that Matthew has pulled his pants off and showed him his penis. What am I going to do with that boy! He always wants his pants off. Then they run around and play with random things and end up in the office playing with 4 piggy banks FOREVER! Not sure how that kept them so happy, but it did.

They still play "near" each other, not really "with" each other at this age.

I have been returning phone calls on the rental house, calling about carpet cleaning at our house, picking up the house, packing garage sale boxes and writing this blog.

10:00 - Ms. Emily came over with her youngest son and her niece. All of us talk and play for a couple of more hours. We enjoy having them over! I get a call somewhere in there that someone wants to see this house at 3:30. Whew, here we go...

















12:00 - lunch and nap. Then I race around and try to put this house together and do all of the "staging" that April suggested.

2:15 - wake up MJ and have a snack, head to get John a bit early so Ashlea and I can chat a few minutes before pick up.

3:15 - Home, snack and try to play without making a mess. We watch a little bit of Frozen and play on the computer. Finally about 4:20, the people show up and stay until 5:00, we played out in the front yard. Good news, they want to rent it, bad news they want us out by 5/31. Clearly not going to happen. They are supposed to tell us tomorrow about a 7/1 move in. While we are outside someone called to see the rental house at 7:30 tonight.

5:00 - We SPRINT out of here to Kroger to get snacks for the baseball team, grab dinner, get home, scarf it down, get dressed and go to the game. We are 10 minutes late for warms up, and it is Johns turn to be captain. Arg. He gets to wear the orange belt. ( I forgot my big camera, blah). As I am getting the snacks and ice chest up the ramps, I realize I locked my keys in the car. So I miss the first 2 innings on the phone with on star. Elyse and Matthew are playing like crazy again and Bob and Carolyn are here today. Whew, they keep me sane!

John had a good game 4 big hits. He hurt his foot somehow and is limping pretty good though. :(

7:15 - Head to the rental house with the Joneses and show it to this nice couple who want to rent it, fill out an application, but then after talking to them and Carl, we are not ready to drop the price to what they can afford. We have had so much interest and the house is not even finished AND it is not listed on any sites yet. Once complete, this place should rent easily.

8:30 - Home, shower, bed. I get on the computer and upload and send a bunch of pictures of our house to an old Dallas Cowboy who is interested in renting. Then I crash. Blah.

A Week in the Life: Tuesday

5:06 - my internal clock goes off, I try to fight and it and win this time! I did not wake up until 6:45. However, I do love getting up before the boys and having some time to myself to read my bible and have coffee and anything else I feel like doing.

6:45 - up and make lunch for John and wake his grumpy bottom up. Downstairs to eat and get dressed. I get Matthew up about 7:15 and we rush to get him cleaned up. He still has accidents at night two or three times a month probably. Especially when he gets to bed late like last night.

7:50 - back from drop off and I jump in the shower while Matthew eats breakfast and watches TV. After I get out, I sit with him and bit and then get him dressed for beach day. I finish getting ready and then we head out the door in his swimsuit. He is excited about it, the boy loves water!

9:15 - Back at the house after stopping at Starbucks to get a dozen cake pops as my contribution to a bible study lunch that I am hosting at the house last minute. Ashlea had a family emergency, so we switched the location late yesterday to my house. I pick up breakfast and some lingering things here and there, but overall the house is good. Have I mentioned that I could get used to living this way with less stuff and a clean house.

10:30 - The first guests arrive and they have balloons and presents!?!? WHAT? They have turned this into a surprise baby shower for me! These women are such a blessing in my life. Not just because of the shower, but just having such caring and giving women around you just makes your life more rich! We talk and eat and talk some more, Sharon said a beautiful prayer for our family and I am overwhelmed. My phone died so we only got a few pictures, but I love this one because it shows this beautiful door wreath or wall decor or any other display that Emily made me. I am bringing it to the hospital and hanging it on my door!

1:40 - People are still here and I am having to push 'em out, but they get it. :) I return a call on the house (no luck though). I go get Matthew and he is EXHAUSTED. I can see it all over his face and in his eyes. Must have been a special day! We fiddle around the living room, go through all the presents and look at some pictures before we head to get John at 2:40.

3:00 - Home from getting John and we make orange juice slushies, then John plays on the computer and Matthew watches Wallakazam while I clean up the remains from the shower. Our awesome pool guy knocks on the backdoor (he has been here all day resealing something or other). He wants to meet me over at the rental house with his wife and kids to take a look. (He is a Plano fireman, he has 5 kids, 3 adopted and wants to adopt more.) For any of those reading this that are saying "no don't go over there by yourself", I assure you this is perfectly safe. He is good friends with some of our good friends and has known them for years. I will give you peace of mind and say that I will not get out of the car if he shows up with no wife and kids. :)

4:00 - Boys are upstairs playing nicely while I type this blog, but then the tired day has set in and all chaos breaks loose. John starts screaming and Matthew and Matthew starts screaming and crying and coming downstairs. John starts screaming that everyone hates him and he is going to kill himself. Yep, you read that right if you are still reading. This is his new thing. We are trying to handle it very calmly and lovingly, but we are not sure what to do with that….. any advice would be helpful.

4:30 - We leave to go to the Dollar Tree and get sunglasses for Matthew's school friends and their end of year party. I give the boys each a few dollars and let them pick out that number of toys. Since everything is $1, it makes negotiating easy!

5:15 - Back home and eating a quick dinner (leftovers from all the yummy food everyone brought to the lunch today) and then head out to meet the lady at the rental. It was actually just her that showed up, so we were good. She liked it, but was hesitant about switching school districts. The house was a construction mess! The floors don't go in until the 30th, so we are part of the waiting game right now.

6:30 - Home and playing with the Dollar Tree toys (rocket balloons and zombie brain ooze were the favorites), quick shower and bath and then cake pops left over from the party for a treat. The boys run around and play with each other intermittently while we watch American Idol (which we never do, but John was really interested for some reason).

7:40 - head up for bed because they are getting wild and Matthew is moving into a zombie mode he is so tired. We still struggle with John and his fits at night time, so he lost his book before bed tonight due to the screaming and mean talk out of his mouth… whew, that boy….

I sit and watch August:Osage County. It was depressing and I wish I could have those 2 hours of my life back and be productive!

A Week in the Life: Monday

5:15 - Carl's alarm goes off. I fight it until 5:30 and then get up to do some more bible reading. I have had my fill of slaughtered animals for the day. :)

6:15 - Make John's lunch and pack his snacks for the week. Carl is getting ready and packing up for his meeting this morning to announce Kelly's departure and his trip to Orlando for the managers meeting that he is putting on. I shower and get ready.

6:45 - John comes downstairs and cuddle on the couch. I go get Matthew to say goodbye to Daddy. Carl leaves. We eat breakfast. We all get dressed and John plays on the iPad for a few minutes.

7:30 - Out the door to walk John to school. It is a beautiful morning!

7:45 - Back at the house, drinking chocolate milk and watching Tickety Toc. I pick up the remaining pieces of life laying around on the counters and floor because the cleaners are coming today. My favorite day ever! :)

8:30 - Cleaners arrive and realize we are out of floor cleaner. Matthew and I pack up and run to Kroger, back to the house, back up to school (b/c I forgot to give John his weekly snacks), to starbucks for a drink and a "snack", then finally over to Levi's for a playdate.

9:30 - We are at Levi's and him and Matthew play "near" each other versus "with" each other. While Lacey and I chat. She is 1 month behind me in pregnancy with her 5th kiddo. The boys wreck the playroom and bedroom, but have a blast doing it.

10:50 - race over to swim class. He is such a great little swimmer! I love watching him. Here is a pic and a quick video.

12:00 - Home with Jersey Mikes in hand. The boy loves their turkey sandwiches and I sure did not want to put al inch together in a spotless kitchen! We have a picnic outside. He was thrilled. It is the small things that make him happy.

12:30 - Up to his room for book and nap. I write this blog and send off more requests from random people on the rental home, the new house, and the bank accounts for the LLC. We have a lot going on at once. Whew, the admin behind it all is pretty intense. Sitting in a spotless house and having no immediate fire this afternoon, I decide to turn on the TV and I doze off for a bit.

2:40 - Out the door with Matthew in stroller to get John. We are picking up the Wang family today and walking them home because Ms. Sharon can't get to school in time. I love living in this neighborhood with so many friends and trusted families! We have so many options when we are in need of help and we are an option for those families as well. One of the main reasons I do not want to leave this neighborhood and am so glad we are just moving around the block.

3:15 - Home. When the weather is nice we typically stay at school or the park or out front and play a bit with our friends so it takes us a while to get home. John wants to play on the computer and show us something. It was a website called abcya.com. It was neat and it was free if you have school aged kiddos. We all sat not the couch and watched him play a few games. Then we all headed upstairs in the playroom and fiddle around, made a fort, fed some dinosaurs meat or veggies depending on what kind they were, fixed/built stuff with tools, jumped on the trampoline, played Guess Who (Matthew actually played and I think understood the concept), etc.

5:00 - Downstairs to make dinner (pancake and eggs and pears) as the kids watch Wallakazam (I really like this show if you have not seen it, it is all about words and sounds the letters make). I talk to Mom on the phone for 40 minutes (oops, she was at work, oh well. :)) We all eat dinner. 

6:15 - get ready for baseball game and head out. I am not normally there early for warm up and stuff, so this game seemed REALLY long. Again, another reason I love our little village. Carl was not here, but I never had to think about that. All the Dads share in all the boys lives and help out wherever needed. John had 3 hits and he got one out at 2nd base. He really enjoys playing baseball. We need to work on his running technique or I suppose it is more of the lack of competitive drive. That part of him I know he did not get from me. :) He looks like he is trotting to first base. But he doesn't care, so neither do I. 

Matthew loves going to games because there are always kids there to play with. Normally there are 4 girls (sisters of the players and our neighbors) that he loves to ham it up with. Today the crowd was a little thin and Elyse had to shoulder Matthew on her on, but if Matthew had his way it would always only be Elyse. He loves that girl. I will take more pictures on Wednesday with Nana and Da are at the game and can take a little break from keeping one eye on Matthew. 

8:30 - Finally home! Whew, baseball nights are long. But the boys shower and crash by 9:00. I turn on the Thunder game and type up this blog.

A Week in the Life: Sunday

I wanted to squeeze in one more edition of "A Week in the Life"before school was out for Matthew. Well, that week is upon us; where does the time go? This is happens to be a busy week and an odd week for us, but for the most part, most of the weeks are like that.

5:00am - My body has had an internal clock lately that wakes me a few minutes after 5:00am. Although I do not want to get out of bed, my mind is wide awake and I might as well. I toss and turn for a bit and finally stop fighting it around 5:30. I make some coffee and start my bible reading. I decided a few weeks back to start from Genesis 1:1. Today I finished up through Leviticus 9. The instructions for how to build and then the account of actually building the Tabernacle and the things that go inside are really quite hard to skim through this early in the morning….

6:30 - I hear John jump down from bed and sprint to his door. The last week or so he has been an early riser, most mornings I have to wake him for school at 7:00. He slowly creeps around the kitchen corner with his swollen, sleepy eyes. He melts into me as he sits in my lap at the kitchen table for a few fleeting minutes, eyes closed, thumb in mouth. Whew, then he takes his stinky diaper off. He gets up and decides to write me a note that says "I dote feel wel" and then heads to the living room to wrap up in a blanket and lay on the couch. Pretty much every morning he says he does not feel well, I have learned to decipher when there is validity behind it or if it is a cry for attention or if he is trying to avoid something that day (i.e. school, church, etc.).

Carl's alarm went off at 6:30. Normally he would sleep in until he has just enough time for 1 cup of coffee and to get ready for Church. But today is his last day to get some work done on this house before he leaves town tomorrow through Friday. :( We have a "for rent" sign in the yard and have purchased a house around the block on a charming culd-a-sac. We close in 3 weeks. WHAT?!?! Lots to do. Yesterday he spent ALL DAY doing wall patchwork, touch up paint, staining the office floors, replacing the doorbell, carrying all the heavy stuff I can't, etc.  I spent yesterday playing the boys and then packing up more boxes, cleaning and staging the rooms that were ready to be staged. And today is most likely going to be more of the same.

7:00 - John and I have some cereal (Honeycomb and Grapenuts) while Carl mentally wakes up on the couch while planning the busy day ahead of him. I message back someone else that is interested in the house from Facebook. FB has gotten us the most traffic by far. I would have never imagined. I go get Matthew and see his smiling face peering from under the covers. We all fiddle around in the living room for a bit playing keep away with a toy wheel and watching home improvement shows. Matthew is ready for some Life cereal.

8:00 - The boys head upstairs to play together. They do this a lot lately, they go off on their own and play really well together. It makes my heart happy and gives me peace that they truly do love each other (or they are out of options :)). Carl and start the day… laundry, bed making, cleaning, more of the long to-do list….. Somewhere in there we all get ready for church.

10:00 - Today church is even a little different. We typically go to the 9:15 service, but today they are having a Dedication service on-site of the new building (to be opened late summer), so patrons from all 3 services gathered outside of the new building. We took the boys with us, and I am so thankful for regular childcare at church. They were well behaved, but I could not soak up any of it for the wiggly worm on my lap.

12:00 - Home to each lunch (Turkey and roast beef sandwiches), nap for MJ, Carl heads out to Home Depot to get lighting for the rental house as they are coming tomorrow morning to install. John and I head out back to clean up from the last storm and pull the next round of weeds. John wonders around in and out of the house and does his own thing.

2:30 - I wake Matthew up and get John ready for baseball practice.

3:00 - Baseball practice for John and Carl, more outback time for Matthew and I. He too is great when we need to work outside, both the boys are good little outside helpers.

4:15- John and Carl home and I make them an orange juice slushy thing and I finish up outside.

5:00 - Carl gets a call and his boss just quit!?!?!? Awesome timing (cue sarcasm). So he has to spend the rest of the evening on the phone and thinking about different things other than the house. I run to Arby's to get dinner. I take Matthew with me because the boys are still playing together but are starting to play rough and there is random crying more often.

6:00 - Dinner and playing in the living room (they built a store with the ottoman) and upstairs (I don't know but it was loud and rough). I watch a little TV, pick up the kitchen and write this blog. Carl is on the front driveway on the phone, making plans to potentially change his flight in the morning to later in the day in light of the news break.

The play turns into chase and running and loudness downstairs. So, I tell the boys that every time some one cries or gets mad at the other one that they each have to pick up 5 things. For some reason they LOVED that idea. They started picking up automatically every time Matthew cried and John helped Matthew count his 5 things. It was crazy. The whole living room and hallway was picked up by the time the night was through. That one is a keeper!

7:15 - Shower for John and bath for Matthew.

7:40 - Bed for John because of a consequence he had earlier in the day. He is speaking disrespectfully to Carl and I and he ended up with 4 consequences today (no iPad, no TV, bed to early, cleaning by himself). I think he is going through a little rebellion or he is out of sorts since we told him about the move. Either way, we need to help him learn to deal with those feelings.

8:00 - Matthew and I read a story and then off to bed. I write this blog while Carl is still in and out of the house on the phone dealing with this work fall out. As he is talking he is carrying down all the heavy stuff from upstairs to the garage. We have gutted a lot of stuff from the house to make it look bigger and less cluttered. I like living this way. But now the garage is a nightmare. We are planning on having a moving sale when the time comes and just getting rid of the majority of stuff. Then we are only a few weeks away of being able to move stuff into the new house. There is a light at the end of the tunnel…. there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

I did not take one picture today but I did not get to it… more to come the rest of this week's series.

My Three Sons

We told the boys that the baby was going to a boy. Matthew was excited and kept saying "penis" all night. But John was a little sad about it, walked away from us and said he wanted to be alone. :( I think he really wanted a sister. I am sad for him because he is not old enough to know that although he won't have a sister, having 2 brothers is a really cool thing to.

We also decided a name for this precious baby boy… Grayson Daniel. I have already started calling him that and I am attached to it, so I hope it sticks. The boys don't like it though. John wants to name the baby Will or Alex and Matthew wants to name the baby "baby Jesus".

Love me some boys!

Happy THIRD Birthday Matthew: Dear Matthew

Dear Matthew,

My favorite year with you! You are so fun and so loving. You are silly and challenging. You are easy going but you can stand your ground and be a tough mess when you feel like it.

You love so many things I can't even count. You love swimming, dancing, EATING, going to the park, wrestling with Daddy, cuddling with anyone who will sit still long enough, watching TV, playing on the iPad, going outside, playing soccer or baseball or any other sport for that matter, your brother, legos, scooters, running, chasing, being silly, being a super hero with made-up super powers, watching movies in the car, doing things by yourself, and talking.

You completely dislike certain foods, some of which I put on your plate anyway and you eventually will eat (chicken and peanut butter bother me the most :)). You dislike getting in trouble. You utterly can not stand when brother teases you or bothers you on purpose. You dislike the word no. You get pretty frustrated when you get bored and do not know what to do; you just keep repeating "I not know what I am going to do".

You are the best sleeper and you love baths which were two blessings that God helped me out with to prevent insanity.

You are pretty violent with John and we can not seem to reign it in together. We are working on it, and hoping the phase passes anytime now. You are tough and can hit hard. Not sure a great quality in a 3 year old. EEK!

I have to be honest with you. I loved the stage that John was in too right before you came along… and then… you came along and threw a wrench (a welcomed one, but still) in the whole thing. So, you will understand that I am a bit anxious for what might be to come. I pray for your soul and for my own. I am a much more relaxed parent since those days, so hopefully I can better facilitate the transition.

You really do not have any friends your own age. I apologize for that. I put so much effort into fostering friendships within the neighborhood for John and have totally neglected for you. The friends he made when he was your age are still awesome bonds and I want you to have that too. You get along and can play so well with him and his friends, but that is not fair for you. I promise to put more effort in to scheduling playdates for you.

Your questions are so sweet and innocent and although they drive me crazy some of the time, I hope they never stop. In a very selfish and total fantasy land kind of way, I want all the information you ever get to come from me and those around you that love you so much. :)

Happy THIRD Birthday Matthew: When I Picture You

When I picture you….

- I see your silly smile and scrunchy nose when you are deliberately trying to make me laugh.

- I see your short naked bum crawling up on the toliet to go potty, you do not like standing up.

- I see the look on your face and the way your body moves when you have to go potty, but haven't convinced yourself that it is time to go yet.

- I see your chubby little elbows wrapping around my neck at night for one last hug before you say goodnight and blow me kisses

- I see you racing your brother to the bathroom to see who can get to the stool to brush there teeth first… and then I hear the cries of the one that did not make it.

- I see your sweet little face saying "snack?" 1000 times a day. and then smiles and running when I say yes and tears and dropped chin when I say no.

- I see you in the bathtub building your foam blocks or coloring on the wall and then explaining in detail what each drawing or structure is and how to use it.

- I see you curled up on the couch cuddling watching a Sheriff Callie or WallyKazaam.

- I see you putting your hand on my belly and saying "I can feel the baby kicking" (which you can't)

- I see you on the big green couch moving pillows around to make the perfect "fort". Then I picture the horde of stuff you have collected under those pillows when I go to clean it up. Usually a flashlight, a rocket, spiderman, a ball or two, a kazoo, beads, something from the kitchen, etc. And they all have a meaning and purpose in your fort as a weapon or supply or ingredient. 

- I see you enjoying every second of baking with me in the kitchen. The idea of making muffins will turn your frown upside down. 

- I see you jumping like a little bunny when you see me at the door at school to pick you up. 

- I see you far in front of me on your scooter riding up to get bubba from school and then bobbing and weaving through all the parents as we wait for the bell. 

- I see you at swim school in your goggles and swim shirt kicking your heart out and loving it. 

- I hardly ever see it, but you have a very distinct cry and look on your face when you are truly sad. It is the most genuine look, as if your heart just broke and you have no idea what to do. It cracks me every time, I can't take it.